I am not going to complain...

I am not going to complain...I am not in the hospital.  I don't have water on my lungs making it difficult for me to breathe.  I do not have a feeding tube nourishing me because I am too weak to eat. My kidneys are not struggling to keep up.  I am healthy.  My body is conditioned to swim, bike and run for long periods.  In the last week alone, I have swam more than 5000 meters, biked 54 miles and run nearly 7 miles (did I mention that running is not my favorite part of triathloning?).  So...I am not going to complain about training because it is a privilege to be able to train.  It is a privilege to not be so unlucky as to have my body taken over by blood cancer. 

But...

I have to admit...sometimes training is hard...mentally and physically.  Getting 1.5 - 2 hour workouts in 6 days a week is a challenge...especially with a full time job that is not always 9-5.  Once in a while I am tempted to give in to sitting on my couch and watching tv in lieu of running or biking because the temperature is a little nippy and the wind is whipping.  Lately, I have had a hard time getting everything in...which when you are facing what will likely be an 8 hour race in a little over 4 months... is scary.  I won't even get into the part about the fact that when you are training 12 or more hours a week...and working a full-time job...that having a social life (especially one that occaisionally incorporates a good happy hour cocktail or two) is nearly impossible. 

Instead, I am spending my time agonizing over what to eat so that I am a) not starving, b) not overeating, and c) properly nourishing my body.  I do laundry...lots of laundry...because well training is a stinky business that seems to create a ton of black lycra that needs laundering.  I plan and re-plan my workouts.  And yet...I still don't seem to get them all in.  I worry about my injured hip.  I pump and re-pump bike tires...plan my routes.  You get the point. 

And yet, I really do enjoy triathloning.  I like being so tired that I fall into bed.  And, as much as I thought I would hate asking people for money to support finding a cure for blood cancer...I find that I am now not shy at all when it comes to asking.  Because as I said before...I am privileged.  I am privileged to be the person asking for money...instead of the person battling blood cancer.  And...given the chance...I would do it all over again.